insufferable

I have been a mirror for far too long
Propping myself up, angling, contorting
To ensure that what they see is the proper ghost or glimmer
I have been a basket brimming with bread and fish
A nervous miracle wrought and indebted
Depleted in a quest to satisfy the omnihungry
Worst of all, I have been a self
Self-contained by a fully permeable membrane
Glossing over other's organelles with my thin, unmixed varnish and calling them mine
I have been a pitiful navigator, fretting over what cannot be
Included within the bounds of my single-sheet record
Before I have even bothered to map the interior
The warm forest expanse that holds it all centered
I must start, stop, struggle
Light every candle even as they flicker dark
Push through and past the mist while filling my lungs with it
I may not lash myself to this ship no matter how promising
I have done this before, and been taken over the wrong horizon
No, for now, thin and weak
I must cast myself into the midst of black water and swim